The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Friday, December 23, 2005

And how was your morning?

I've only been up for two hours and have already been having adventures...

Well, I suppose the adventures began last night. I invited myself to see King Kong with a friend (I'll maybe review it later, but holy hell that movie is over three hours long! Doesn't anyone know what editing is for anymore?). I got home quite tired and went online before bed to check the status of the ThinkGeek package that should have arrived at my apartment yesterday. (It's an Xmas present for my dad from both myself and my brother. If it didn't show up on time, we'd both be screwed.) I looked up the tracking number only to find that for some reason ThinkGeek let me update my billing address, not my shipping address, and the package was delivered to my old apartment from two years ago! Christ on a crutch! WTF??

I sent a frantic email to customer service (Um, if I can't get this package from wherever the hell it went, would you send me another one? Pretty please?) and went to bed knowing I would probably have to knock on some stranger's door the next day. But the thing most worrying me was that DSL claimed that someone "signed" for it, so all kinds of worst-case-scenarios were running through my head. "They sent it to the post office, and is the post office even open today... They just took it for themselves and won't give it to me... They sent it to the complex office and is the office even open today... They just sent it back to where it came from and there's no hope of getting it in time..."

Since I have today off, though, I decided not to wake myself up early. However, my cats decided to try, licking my nose, pawing at me with just a hint of claw. I fended them off until about 9:30, when I dragged myself out of bed, groggy, sinuses clogged, and into the kitchen to make coffee. I was greeted to the sight of black ants throwing themselves a little ant party all over my sink, counter, wall, and wherever else they were hiding. Why, out of all times, did they choose last night to launch their offensive? I had just cleaned all of my dishes, mopped my floor, and didn't have any chocolate slivers or jam stains lying about. Why??? Why now??? But I had to do something, my home was being invaded.

And thus began what I have termed "The Great Ant Massacre of 2005."

Did you know that 409 Orange Clean kills ants instantly when you spray it on them? Plus it's already a kitchen surface cleaner, so it's not like you're spraying Raid everywhere. As the orange-ish chemical rain fell upon them, I could hear tiny shrieks in my head. "Oh god noooo! It burns! Mommy!" I spent the better part of an hour battling these little beasts; spraying, wiping, putting away the clean dishes so as not to get 409 on them, cleaning up the other half of the sink which never gets clean because the dish drainer lives in it, hunting and squishing lone survivors with my fingers and washing them off... I had finally gotten around to getting water boiling for coffee when it hit me. "I need to go find my package. Now."

I threw on some clothes, tied back my hair, and ran out the door, sleep/sinus fuzziness still plaguing me, the inklings of a caffeine headache creeping into my head. Fortunately this apartment is five minutes away from my current one, which was enough time to hear the entirety of "Until the End of the World" by U2 and not entirely enough time to smoke a cigarette. I pulled into the parking lot and seemed to get some funny looks from a guy on a golf cart, but I ignored it. As I got out, I saw a piece of paper in the window with passages highlighted in pink. "Oh god," I thought "something's wrong..." I walked closer, my breathing getting tense, not knowing what to expect...

The paper was a little "For sale by owner" notice. (The apartments went condo last year. I found out when I tried to move back into them after I left the two bedroom my ex and I shared.) It was uninhabited! And there, in the little garden by the door, secluded from the parking lot view by the little wall out front, was my package! It had stayed there all of yesterday, and overnight, and was waiting for me to claim it, unharmed! My brother and I were saved!

I grabbed it and hurried back home, wondering if anyone had a) noticed me running off with it or b) noticed it was even there in the first place. But it didn't matter, I had my father's Xmas gift safely in my minivan, and I was speeding home to finally have my precious coffee.

Now I just have to finish waking up and get ready for the rest of the day...


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