The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Random, girlish thoughts

Well, first off, my mother sent me one of those annoying "women need to protect themselves" emails with big bold type and all the "important" bits in red. The entire thing screams "BE AFRAID! THE WORLD IS DANGEROUS! STAY HOME!" or some such.

Emails like this bother me tremendously.

I do agree that there is cause for caution and common sense. Lock your doors at night, stay in well-lit areas, stick to public places with people in them, etc. etc. And if this email had a different tone to it, one that offered safety tips in a calm, practical manner, I probably wouldn't be so upset about it. In fact, I would read it and go "Ah. This is good information to know." But when I am being told with type that is the equivalent of wide, frightened eyes that because I am a woman the world is a more dangerous place, I can't help but send back a rant of a reply.

You see, my philosohy is very simple: If we as women act and feel like we are vulnerable because of our gender, then we will be treated as if we are vulnerable because of it, and we will be victimized. Oh yes.

This falls into a similar vein of various conversations I've had with random women and girls who tell me the same thing. Because I am a woman, I have to be doubly cautious when venturing out into the world alone.

My only thought is "Why should I consider myself any different from anyone else when my safety is an issue?"

It just gives me the feeling that these women are acting like crabs in a bucket, trying to pull me back down into realms of fear and distrust. I have never felt that the world at large is a dangerous place for me to be in, and so I have rarely encountered situations that made me feel uncomfortable to be in. There are a few exceptions, but I handled them in such a way as to protect myself.

So, to me, the bottom line is to be smart, just like everyone else, and to not let your gender stop you.

In other news, I have decided to act upon a compulsion I have had since my first relationship.

Ever since the idea of marriage has been presented to me, I have had this compulsion to wear some kind of ring on the appropriate finger. I haven't been able to understand it completely. I know it ties in to being with someone I absolutely adore, and a want of commitment and security, but these desires trouble me. They tend to lead me into a life I honestly don't want. So yesterday when I went to buy myself a new pentacle (my last one vanished, which was very appropriate actually) I spotted a ring that I knew I must have. The minute I put it on my finger, I didn't want to take it off.

And now that I have my very own "engaged to myself" ring, I feel somehow more secure. I feel like I won't have a desire for a committed partnership in the same exact way as I have in the past, for now that I am committed to myself, I can fall in love freely and without the need for something "more" from the person of my affections. This feels good. And the ring has a beautiful blue glowing moonstone set in it. A stone sacred to the Goddess herself. How fitting!

The funny thing about your "ring finger" is that it corresponds to a meridian in your engergy system that functions as a protector. It is the source of our "fight or flight" response. How odd that we have chosen this finger as the one to place a ring of commitment to another on.

Of course, now the ring finger on my right hand feels naked. I suppose I shall need another...

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