The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Behind our building at work is a concrete staircase leading to the back parking lot. It is separated by a metal pipe railing that has been rusting at the base for some small time, looseing the rail to the point of being able to lift it out of the ground. Recently, maintenance re-attached it to the concrete with some sort of strange, ugly adhesive that basically looks like a temporary fix. One of my coworkers commented that perhaps it would last until the rest of the pipe rusted away.

It caused me to contemplate the quandry between using temporary solutions vs. outright replacement, and which situations call for what action. I know, it doesn't come off as deep on the surface, but for some reason I found it a profound thought. When it's time to press on, continue, keep something up vs. when it's time to let go, move on, replace. I dunno, it just seems like a good brain munching thought.

Another brain munching thought I've had today revolves around this pervasive feeling of emptiness and lonliness that has been hitting me periodically. Certain events outside myself give me a reason to be happy, and seeing my friends often makes me feel connected to the world, but too often when I am left to my own devices these days I feel restless and hollow. Until it occurred to me that when one has been going through stressful events where one's mind must be constantly working, it is difficult to switch out of said mode of thinking and rest.

Perhaps all I have needed to do is change my perception of things. Tell my brain that it doesn't need to be in hyperactivity mode, constantly looking for the next thing to do, another person to see. I don't even know how I got into this mode of thinking in the first place. Having quiet time to oneself can be one of the greatest pleasures of life.

*shrugs* One of life's mysteries I suppose...


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