The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Monday, October 31, 2005

A formal shout out to all of my Pagan/Wiccan peeps out there

Blessed Samhain everybody!

Gosh I feel lonley. It's hard being the only witch on Halloween. (Yes, I know how silly that sounds.) Everybody else is running around to parties in costumes and hunting for candy and decorating with webs and spiders and skeletons and things and I...

I'm just not feelin' it anymore.

I used to love Halloween and all the spooky trappings. Skeletons were my big thing. And witch's hats too. Loved 'em. Loved it all. And then something changed. I don't know what happened exactly, but the magic just wasn't there anymore. Maybe it's the fact that kids don't trick or treat like they used to. Maybe it was just a natural outgrowth as I left the "cute spooky girl" phase of my goth days behind. Maybe it's just a part of how my interests shifted from fantastical fantasies to profound mysteries. I don't know.

I just wish that I had my old circle back, and that we were celebrating Samhain like we used to. I've been to some awesome Samhain rituals. Children with costumes and candy mixed in with their parents contemplating the deeper meanings of the season. Stories told around bonfires of Persephone's descent into Hades, and her return to the surface. Sharing cakes and wine with friends, blessing them saying "May you never hunger or thirst." Calling on The Crone, honoring her presence in our lives.

To me, it's not about dressing up anymore. It's about remembering and honoring the dead. Respecting the fact that death happens to us all in many ways, and many times over our lives and other lives. It's the end of the harvest season, the last one before the winter, when the earth grows cold and we withdraw into our homes and ourselves, awaiting rebirth the next spring. It's a time to give thanks to what our mother earth has given us over the spring and summer and autumn.

It's remembering those who have passed on, communing with our ancestors, lifting the veil between the worlds for one night and getting glimpses of faeries and spirits. Looking into our futures to see what the coming year has in store. Celebrating the wheel of life, the spiral path that we all tread.

And I haven't had any friends that I have shared this with since I left Savannah. Good Pagans are hard to find. And by "good" I mean ones that you mesh with, that you feel comfortable practicing with. I have a few Pagan friends, but I haven't felt the call to be in circle with them (and many prefer to be solitary anyway). I had something rare and special, and it's gone now and I feel very alone.

So I'll go home after work, light my solitary candle, and reflect on these things myself. I may be alone, but She is with me, and sometimes that can be enough.

Happy new year everyone. May you never hunger, may you never thirst, and may the next year be as good or better than the last.

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