The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Okay okay! Baby steps!

So, um, yeah. I was a little overambitious in announcing my plans to quit smoking. I met up with a smoker friend to go see Kung Fu Hustle (such an awesome flick. Go see it!), and I so caved.

He was very kind and bummed me smokes throughout the evening, and then I decided to make my goal of the moment be to not smoke during the day (at work). Which does bug me, because I start out innocent enough with a cigarette here, and then another there, and then before I know it I'm wanting smoke breaks every hour or something. Not very conducive to a productive workplace environment. I mean, I don't care, because I am slack, but I think my employers would care. Plus, the accounting girl commented yesterday on it already. "Are you stressing? You've been smoking a lot more lately."

Of course, I have been stressing, but I didn't really feel like going into it. Fortunately I was able to bring up the "I'm trying to quit" line of dialogue, so it was all good. And I really do intend on quitting in the long run. I just think it'll work better if I take it a little bit at a time.

Oh, and thanks go out, by the way, to all the wonderful boys who have been telling me that I didn't really need to lose the weight/have always been attractive. You are all doing wonders for my self esteem. If only clothing stores would be so accomodating...

Speaking of weight loss, my ex is completely smitten with a new girl. He's very cute about it, and I'm really hoping that things work out. From what he says it sounds like she's exactly his type.

The flip side of this is that she seems to be all of the things that he wanted from me that I never was. This makes me sad, and I can't quite put my finger on why yet, or what I can do about it. I guess it's just the consequence of spending so long with someone. Of course, it hasn't exactly made him feel entirely warm and fuzzy that I have a new boy myself (that I get to go visit for Memorial Day weekend. Yay!).

All things heal with time I suppose. At least I'm not so angry and bitter about it anymore. We even had a nice talk the other day, and seemed to say some things to each other that needed to be said, including apologies on my part. (Have I mentioned this already?) I feel a lot better about talking to him now too, which is good. Progress...

...Goddess I want a cigarette.


  • At 12:37 PM, Blogger AngiGrrrl said…

    Hey Doll,

    I couldn't help but post. Congrats on the Baby Steps. Goddess knows its hard as Hell to get off the nicotine.
    You Go Grrrl!

    (p.s. Greetings from Utah!)


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