The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

You know that feeling you get...

That feeling you get when you're talking to someone, and you have so much to say that you just keep talking and talking and they smile and nod but don't respond verbally, and after a while you feel like you're pouring yourself into a black hole?

No? Just me? Okay then...

I want to look at my site stats, but I have no idea how to do this. But this is a minor thing.

My major dilemma now is finding the perfect pair of shoes. (And you thought I was going to say something deep.) I had a revelation the other month, as if a light bulb turned on in my head:

I have wide feet, and therefore I need to find shoes that are made specifically for people with wide feet.


I was able to ignore this issue for most of my life because my footwear choices up until now weren't very girly. But heaven help me, I just love that current look of jeans with a boot cut paired with some sexy heels. (I have no idea how well this will translate onto my Amazonian frame, I mostly see it on thinner bodies. But then, most bodies seen on television end up being thin. And I do say "Amazonian" in the sense of being an "Amazonian Goddess." The fact that I tower over most of my female friends merely betrays my immortal Goddess-ness. Not to say that my female friends aren't Goddesses in their own rights, just not Amazonian ones.)

So after my brilliant revelation, I decided to begin my search in the shoe department of Macy's (where I happened to be at the time). I couldn't find a single shoe that didn't have "mediums only" printed on the label! So I decided to try my luck at the slightly more expensive Bloomingdale's. (I am learning that it is, in fact, worth it to spend a little more for the best thing for me instead of wasting money on something cheap that won't suit me nearly as well.) I walked in undaunted, only to be greeted by the same "mediums only" line on the shoe labels. So, thus daunted, I walked over to one of the shoe-guys and asked him if I would actually find any shoes that fit me in the store. The obvious answer at this point is no. Apparently Bloomingdale's does not stock wide shoes. Nor Macy's. (I mean, they're practically the same store, one of them just charges a little more...)

Don't stock wide shoes? WTF? How are we Amazonian Goddesses supposed to find fantabulous footwear if the supposed shopping meccas of the world don't carry our size? I am utterly betrayed. (Thus began my conspiracy theory that all rich people are genetically engineered to have perfect metabolisms, thin bone structures, and tiny feet. Even though I know that this is just what retailers want us to think.)

So I did what any resourceful girl would do, I headed straight to the internet. "Find anything you want on Google" my ass! I tried for two hours to find relevant, straightforward information on how to measure my feet and buy proper shoes, and, several print-outs and foot tracing later, I'm still confused! The best thing out of it was finding this one drag queen's detailed guide to the mechanics of women's shoes. It was actually kind of neat and informative. Shame I'm not a guy.

So, despite my lack of "actual shoe size" knowledge, I thought I'd look at what would be available to me, and I was able to find some online stores with cute looking wide shoes. And since my search was all-encompassing, I learned that a lot of snazzier, "couture" designers (Kate Spade for instance) don't make wide shoes at all. (Conspiracy theory: 2-2) And I just have to ask, what's so wrong with my money? Just because I was born with certain genetic traits that I had no conscious say about, I'm not allowed to sport designer digs? Surely there are fashionistas out there with feet that don't fit the "norm." You'd think that there was some kind of law against people with "non-standard" body types looking good or something.

Well, there's a problem with society today that we talk about but never seem to get anywhere with.

So I'll probably just have to go in to Nordstrom's. I don't know what they have in their store down here, but I know that they have wide shoes online (unlike certain other department stores I have already mentioned). They have excellent customer service (I have seen it in action), they just don't always have what I want, and I'll feel terrible if I just go in there to get my feet measured.

*sigh* This whole lifelong theme of "not fitting in" (in any way, body, mind, spirit, etc.) is really annoying. I would vacate this plane of existance if I consciously knew how.

And yet...

I find I can take this on as a challenge, and if it's a challenge it's actually, dare I say, fun! So wish me luck, I'll find that damn pair of shoes one of these days. And then, to be safe, I'll buy one in every color.


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