The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Sing for Absolution...

So I left off yesterday it what I thought was a hopeful mood, only to find that it took about 24 hours for my former and I to have it out with each other. But I feel it is all for the good, and we have hugged and made up over it. However, some of what he said to me lingered into this morning, as I am terribly good at finding reasons to be upset with myself.

I will not say that I am wrong in feeling upset at times, and I will not say that I am wrong in expressing these feelings. However, I often operate under the assumption that it is understood that I am only presenting my side of the story, and that (in this case) my former has a completely different story to tell. I forget that people may not make the mental leap that I expect of them, and so to clear the air I want to state that my ex-boyfriend is indeed not the anti-christ. (Or any other type of daemon or monster for that matter. )

He is, in fact, a human being just as hurt as I am, who has made sacrifices for the sake of our relationship just as I had. I am very greatful for most of what he has done for me, as I would not be standing on my own two feet in quite the same way if it was not for him. He supported me through a lot of my own issues, and he did it because he loved me. Due to the immediate nature of my circumstances, I had forgotten this, and I have felt terrible about it now that he has reminded me.

This is not to say that I could have done anything differently, but it is time to appreciate the good that came to us from being together. And so, I can only humbly offer my thanks to him, as it seems to be all he asks in return for the good he has done for me. (I promise that this is honest, sincere, and heartfelt, even if the language is quite flowery.)

On a related note, I must extol the wonder that is tarot.com's daily horoscope. I have taken to reading it as of late, because you get both a general overview mentioning important interactions between various planets and one tailored to your own sun sign. Usually when I am feeling simply awful, and I go to read my horoscope for that day/time period, I find my issues and horoscope match somewhat. It reminds me that what I am going through is just a phase in a long cycle of life, and soon things will turn around for the better. (Not to mention that the site as a whole is extremely accurate. As a pretty decent, and picky, tarot reader myself I highly recommend this website to anyone.)

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