The Girl in Black

Se necesita una poca de gracia.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Hated Sunday, Orlando Megacon, an old friend...

There must be something about Sundays in England, because I know of only two songs in the somewhat popular culture (Every Day is Like Sunday by Morrisey and Hated Sunday by Black Box Recorder) that are written about Sunday, and both of them seem to imply that it is depressing business living in England on Sunday.

This epidemic must be spreading.

Today is the latest in a long line of gloomy mornings that I have woken up to (although this "morning" started about 1:30 in the afternoon...). For part of the week I got to see sunshine by the end of the day, streaming serenely in through my windows at work (yes, I get an "office" with windows, I just happen to have no door, and a wall that does not reach the ceiling...), so things were working out alright. Until Friday. The sky stayed a sad overcast all day, leading into a slightly drizzly Saturday, and now an equally melancholy Sunday.

Hated Sunday.

It doesn't help that I thoroughly overexerted myself socially yesterday. I had to make the annual pilgrimage to Orlando Megacon, despite the lack of the usual suspects to accompany me (someone has to keep the tradition going). Saturdays for cons are always the busiest, and as I wandered haplessly through the throngs of American Otaku I found myself wishing for a sweet, geeky boy of my own to hold my hand and point at swords and dragons and anime figurines with (my ex was never really interested in such stuff, but then I had thought that my interest was waning anyway...), or at least a few like-minded friends for company. (Swords? Dragons? Anime? Didn't you go there for the comics??) Actually, there were lots of comic books, just few that interested me. The Indie/Alternative comic scene (represented dutifully by both Top Shelf and Alternative Comics) has shrunk exponentially over the few years that I have attended Megacon. Hear the sarcasm dripping when I say let Anime and Superheroes reign forever...

I did, however, have a nice conversation with Andy Runton of Owly fame. One of the coolest, nicest guys you'll ever meet, and one of the cutest, awesomest comics you will ever read. I will plug for him shamelessly and often. I mentioned my recent life upheavals, and we talked mostly about choosing career paths in life, and following your heart. He's quite obviously following his, and I really hope it pays off for him in the long run.

After wandering aimlessly for a while, I decided ultimately not to purchase anything except for a Disney Princess from a dollar vending machine. Don't ask me why. I think that every now and again I just have to validate my "inner princess", even if it is Disney style. How fitting that I randomly received Sleeping Beauty... (What I am really looking for is something of Sailor Moon as Princess Serenity. I almost never see anything, and when I do it is not what I am looking for. Of course, upon scouring the internet I realize how not interested in the series I am anymore, and how I just like the idea behind the character. Such is life)

As I left Megacon, I found myself wishing that I had gone to a Ren Fair instead. There would have been most of the same neat stuff that interested me (save for the anime), and it would have been less crowded I think. (Plus better food.) But I left in high spirits, it felt good to go out and look at neat stuff, even if it was on my own. I got into my car and set my directional sights upon my coffeehouse haven, Stardust, and took off.

The rest of the evening fell apart into too much lively conversation and a loud karaoke night that I slipped out of, Cinderella like, before I had a chance to take the stage. I wouldn't have attempted to go karaoke-ing at all, but an old friend from high school who used to be my amateur musical duet partner insisted that I sing with her. She kept staring at me with her intense eyes, as if she were enamored with me (a behavior I cannot remember if she used to do when we were younger) and I wonder if she has noticed how much more self-conscious I have become under her gaze.

I had let this friend of mine go a while ago, we developed separate paths in life, but now she is back in the area and interested in reconnecting. I followed along and echoed her sentiments, but as we sang together in the parking lot (because if we couldn't take the stage together we had to at least sing together somewhere...) I didn't feel the same magic I used to. I have missed singing with others terribly, and have only recently re-discovered my voice. But now, instead of retreading the past, perhaps I need to move foward and embrace the new.

Or maybe I was just mentally and spiritually exhausted. I really cannot spend too much time in party-like situations, it takes too much out of me. I end up feeling empty and broken inside, much like today, my "hated Sunday".

But I just added Iron & Wine into my playlist, I have just discovered that I have lost close to another ten pounds (I would turn cartwheels if I had the energy and ability), and the sun seems to be coming out. Perhaps this isn't such a bad Sunday after all...

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